You probably heard of mom guilt many times before you actually became a mom. So did I.
But never did I imagine it could be so bad and hurt that much. It’s like no matter what you do, it’s not enough. It’s like you’re never enough. And to answer that question, I personally score a big fat 8/10.
So, in case you were wondering, dear future mom, it’s real. It’s very real, painful, and paralyzing at times. The feeling that you could’ve done more. That you could’ve bought a bigger gift, cooked a healthier meal, and spent a bit more time with your little ones. And even when giving more is not an option, the mom guilt would still torture you!
So What Will Your Mom Guilt Beat You Over?
Pretty much anything and everything you do. The truth is, mom guilt isn’t necessarily there. I know some really cool mamas who don’t let these negative thoughts and feelings get to them. Which proves that it doesn’t just come as a gift when you deliver your baby. Rather, these feelings of guilt are usually acquired thanks to all the criticism we need to deal with from day 0 of pregnancy.
This is especially true is small communities where everyone thinks they’re entitled to an opinion in how you raise your kids. And all the “advice” and “tips” soon turn into shaming and judging. And you find yourself haunted by a big monster that wouldn’t let go.
- Deciding to not breastfeed your baby
- breastfeeding your baby for too long
- Feeding your baby formula
- Letting your baby sleep in your room
- Putting them to seep n their own bedroom
- Sending them to daycare. EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO!
- Allowing screen time
- Going out too much
- Not having a decent social life
- Working long hours
- Ruining your career
- Yelling at your kids
- Not disciplining them enough
- Having a mom body
- Everything else!
So, as you can see from that list, this feeling of mom guilt makes absolutely no sense. And f you let t get to you, it can take away the pleasure of raising kids.
How to Get Over It?
Surround yourself with loving people
As with many complications, or stressful situations you go through after becoming a mom, having a support system is essential to get better. Friends and family members who know what you’re going through and are there to help. People who will never judge you and know for sure that you’re doing your best every second of every day.
Take a break
Even if you think you’re not doing enough, taking a break will help you get back to your babies, happier, stronger, and willing to give them 1000%. A happy mom is what your kids really need! So, go shopping, have dinner with your hubby, or take that long-overdue bath. You’ve earned it!
Log out of Instagram, Facebook, and every platform where perfect moms are. There’s never a perfect mom. And behind al the perfect pictures you see and those flawless posts are armies of makeup artists, stylists, and nannies who take care of everything to give you content that could be sometimes valuable. But if for one second you think that these accounts are adding to your mom guilt, then for the sake of your own sanity and kids, just log out.
- You don’t have to be perfect, you can be OKAY!
This is the hardest thing to do, but you have to try it. Believe that you are the best mother for your children and that they will love you no matter what. Just be yourself and take in all the love those little hearts have for you and you’ll feel the guilt fading away in no time.